Can you believe it’s been five years since I last posted anything here? Five years! I could tell you I had a chronic case of writer’s (cell) block. I could say I won the pools again and have been basking in the sun in Florida ever since. I could announce that I became engaged to a wonderful woman I met on The Morning Show with Eamonn and Ruth who fell in love with yours truly and whisked me off to her private love island off the coast of Ibiza.
But, friends, I would be telling porkies. And the truth is even better.
Since I first published Hasta La Flip-Flops! it’s been read by hundreds of people who’ve just loved it. I’ve been interviewed for a documentary about Magaluf and talked about the book on the radio. Hasta La Flip-Flops! has found its way into the hands of several big name production companies. Comedians famous the length and breadth of Bethnal Green and actors who could pick any part they wanted have all begged me for the privilege of immortalising The Lip onscreen. Some of these have been women. I wouldn’t have believed Oscar-winning actresses could stoop so low. Sadly, on my brief’s instructions, The Lip’s lips are sealed.
I have not been idle, chums.
The truth is writing the posts was what I was not paying my ghostie, David, to do. Five years ago I gave him strict instructions, a stack of McDonalds free cheeseburger coupons, a crate of alcohol-free Guinness and 200 books to sell. More than enough, I thought. I bet Adele’s ghostie doesn’t get paid that well.
Imagine my astonishment when I discovered that David had been headhunted to write the memoirs of a Senor Grande who ruled over a 1970s criminal empire that stretched from Arenal to Can Pastilla. David must have done something to put the ice-cream’s hooter out of joint because I’ve not heard from the ungrateful cabrón ever since.
So, from now on, I shall be writing the posts myself. Not so difficult as I’ve just started work on the follow-up to Hasta La Flip-Flops! and the old fingers are playing the keyboard like I was Liberace.
Buy Hasta la Flip-Flops! now
If you’re one of the few people left in the world who don’t have a copy of the book or would like it to be the first thing your unborn child reads, buy it here.
The ride continues, folks.
hastalaflipflops.com 