I arrive on the Rock and the car rental company gives me a free tank of gas. The hotel Sol Cala Blanca refunds my €40 for the car parking spot. I figure out the trip will cost me £300, so I go to the casino and win…£300.

Now the book. It couldn’t have gone better. All these people are coming forward to help, out of the blue. Island PR whizz Vicky McLeod gives me some great PR ideas.

I go for a drink in Rumours in Portals. I’m Facebook friends with the lovely girls who help run it. Talking to Debbie Cameron, an old friend who’s helping me promote the book,  she offers to arrange for me to be on EnglishRadioMallorca on Sunday morning. A quick phone call to Laura Penn and I’m on.

The interview goes great. Laura and her gang make me feel really welcome and even laugh at my jokes. There’s only one hiccup, when Lara asks me about getting shot at. This throws me and I change the subject. Afterwards, of course, I realise what she’s talking about – nearly getting blown out of the water by the US 6th Fleet while promoting Alexander’s.

So, if you’re reading this, Laura, sorry about that. But it really did happen, as you’ll all find out when you read the book.

David, my ghostwriter, and I are gelling fantastically. He lives on the island and is fascinated by the golden days of tourism. A lot of our time is spent laughing at my stories. Even I can’t believe some of them happened.

There’s something about this island that, when it’s smiling on me, really does make things happen. Call it magic, connections – I’ve learned not to analyse. Nothing ever happens out of the blue here.

But, the best thing of all, is I’m well on my way towards my burning desire to finish the story of my life.